Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Walking Dead - Part Two

Character Development
or
Please Just Die Already

I am aware that a general rule of thumb in TV script-writing is that your characters shouldn't change/grow/develop in any significant way. You want strong characters who are all very different from each other and have competing desires and motivations to provide lots of conflict and tension that can be sustained show after show.  Regardless of the comparative value of that kind of writing, you still need at least 90% of those UNCHANGING PERSONALITIES to be sympathetic.  If your audience is stuck with people who are probably not going anywhere significant on an emotional/spiritual level for umpty-nine seasons, YOU NEED TO MAKE THEM LIKE THOSE PEOPLE.  The level they are ON NOW should be endurable at the least.

I (again in my amateur wisdom) have parceled out three basic criteria for deciding the likableness of a character:

1. What are his/her desires?
2. How does he/she strive to attain those desires?
3. How does he/she react when something roadblocks that attainment?

All three criteria are equally important.  I won't go through all of them for every character, but it could be done.

Hokay.  So. How do the characters in "The Walking Dead" measure up?

The Main Supporting Characters

(in sum)
Andrea - Feminist Ball of Sheer Annoying
Basically doesn't care about anything since her sister got eaten.  Now her main drive is to play with guns and show everyone she's just as good as the boys.  She does stupid things like shoot Daryl accidentally, eavesdrop on Shane and Lori, refuse to forgive Dale after he apologizes, and randomly hook up with Shane for no reason after they shoot up a bunch of zombies.

Daryl - Loud Redneck With a Teddy Bear Heart
Merle's younger brother, who talks loud and mean but is the only person who occasionally does anything out of kindness.  He is the only character complex enough to tempt me to like somebody on this show.  However, his character is often buried in redneck stereotypes, actiony crossbow-shooting scenes, loud arguments with all the other characters, and stupid decisions.

Maggie - Slut

"Hi Glenn.  I'm Maggie.  The world is ending and half my family are zombies, so let's have sex randomly and then I can hold it over your head and string you along for the rest of the show, simultaneously telling my father that I am twenty-two and therefore perfectly capable of making smart life decisions on my own, thankyouverymuch."

Lori - Self-Centered Idiot
There are so many reasons to hate Lori.  From the beginning, she's been considering leaving Rick, because apparently he is not fulfilling her needs; she sleeps with his partner when she thought he died because "she just wanted to feel something - anything;" when her son is at death's door she seriously doubts whether or not she even wants him to survive ("What is there for him to live for in a world like this?"); she can't decide whether she wants Shane to stay or go, so she strings him along; when she discovers she's pregnant, she takes (then throws up) abortion pills because she thinks that this baby, like Carl, has no chance in the world; and when she finally does tell Rick about her and Shane, there's no apology, just, "me and Shane" DOT DOT DOT.  She's so insanely selfish that her character is completely unbelievable.  And you want her to die.  Which I hear she does, later.  Woohoo.

Dale - Old Guy There To Give Everyone Else Sage Advice
He's taken Andrea under his wing, even though she hates him (no worries, dude, she hates everybody), and acts as lookout from the top of his RV.  That's basically all there is to say about him, except that he tells people his opinion on Important Relationship Stuff when they ask him about it.  Flat character.  Small summary.

Glenn - The Peon
He's Asian, small, and smart, so he's the guy they're always sending on errands or lowering down zombie-infested wells. He sucks at keeping secrets, but he's a Survivor At Heart.  If any of these people were left in a zomibified city alone, we're supposed to bet on Glenn to be the one to get out.  I was almost set to root for him, but then he has sex with Maggie because he thinks she's hot, realizes he's in over his head, goes to Dale for advice, and completely ignores everything he says. Also tries to pray for Carl, but implies that he doesn't really believe there's anyone listening.

There are other supporting characters, like Merle (WTR), Carol (Browbeaten Woman), Hershel (Narrow-Minded Christian), T-Dog (Random Guy), and Carl and Sophia (Kids).  However, they are either completely undeveloped or only show up a few times, so I'm not going to mess with summarizing them.


The Antagonist
Shane
1. What are his desires?
He wants Rick's life and Rick's family.  That's about it.  When pressed, he'll do something for the good of the group, but only if it doesn't compete with that desire and/or if he thinks Lori would like it.

2. How does he strive to attain his desires?

Moves in on Rick's wife and son as soon as he thinks Rick is dead, and assumes leadership of the group until Rick inconveniently resurfaces and shatters all his dreams.  Then, bitter with Rick for existing, he commences a power-struggle and keeps going after his wife (trying to get Lori to admit that she still has feelings for him) and son (trying to make Carl like him better than his father).

This is all under the guise of "I just want to take care of Lori and Carl," but his actions are selfish and self-defeating.  If he really cared about them, he would step out of the way and let them to patch up their family life - tearing them apart further only hurts Lori and Carl instead of helping them.  Also, if he really loved Lori that much, he wouldn't be fooling around with Andrea. Also, it's beyond twisted to use his "love" for Lori and Carl as justification for killing an innocent guy.  Sure, the show portrays him as all shook up about it, but not enough for him to come clean.


In sum, SHANE HATES WOMEN.  The very first time we see him, he's badmouthing a girl he dated, and implying through his Humorous Anecdote that Women Are All Blonde.  In his nostalgic moments with Rick, we learn that he made a point to sleep with as many women as possible throughout his adolescence, some of whom were married.  He has no concept of boundaries - if he sees a woman he likes, he'll go for her.  To him, women are things.


3. How does he react when something roadblocks that attainment?

He beats people up, or secretly considers killing Rick, or threatens to leave, or basically throws a loud and angry man-tantrum.


The Other Antagonist
Zombies
Totally not scary.  Which is big, because (aside from Weeping Angels) zombies are usually the only things that scare me.  Those little pixel zombies in Zelda? TERRIFYING.  Zombies in Silent Hill? Yeah, still have nightmares about those.  But these?  Seriously, the first zombie I saw made me burst out laughing, which is terrible because the first zombie you see is a little girl carrying her stuffed bunny - it's supposed to be tragic and frightening and poignant.  The zombies in "I am Legend" were way more effective (even though I know they weren't technically zombies) - they were fast, smart, coordinated, creepy.  These just lurch around spilling their guts - they can't even climb ladders.

The Protagonist
Rick
1. What are his desires? 
At first Rick's desires are pretty clear-cut: he wants to A) find his family, and B) get them to safety.  Those are what drive his "A plot;" however, even in the first episode we find that his personal struggles give him other "B plot" desires as well.  Episode 1 includes a flashback of Rick and Shane in their police car, talkin' 'bout girls.  Rick reveals that he and Lori are having difficulties with their relationship, and that he wants to make it work.  In season two, he has a teary moment on the farm's front porch, and tells Hershel (the doctor who patched up his kid) that he's afraid of failing his son.  Throw into the mix a desire to be a good leader for the group, and we have a list as follows:

To be reunited with his family
To patch things up with Lori
To take care of Lori and Carl
To be an effective leader/keep everyone safe

Not a bad list of desires, right? So far he sounds like a reasonably decent human being.

2. How does he strive to attain those desires?
Reuniting with his family is fairly straightforward - he just has to look for them until he finds them, which he does.  The rest, however, becomes bogged in a very confused morality puddle.  He wants to patch things up with Lori - but all their interactions are Fraught With Tension.

R: "I've got to go back to Atlanta." 
L: "You just got back!"
R: "These people are counting on me, woman, shuddup." 

L: "Why should we bother to keep living?"
R: "What's wrong with you, woman? Shuddup!"

R: "Carl can come with me into the woods."
L: "Are you crazy?? He'll be a Zombie Treat!"
R: "Don't you trust me, woman? Shuddup!"

R: "Carl can learn to use a gun."
L: "Are you crazy?? He's an immature infant, he'll kill himself!"
R: "Don't you trust Shane's training ability, woman? Shuddup!"

Etc. Admittedly, Lori is a far worse character than Rick, but regardless of her problems, Rick does not handle his end well. Ever. He comes to her for pats on the back, blows her off, and then is shocked when he finds out she's been keeping secrets from him.  This is discounting the screaming moral problems, like he's okay with the fact that Lori and Shane slept together, since they thought he was dead, and he would "never make Lori keep a baby she didn't want."

He wants to take care of his family - but the fact that his family is still alive is mostly accidental, and no thanks to him.  It was pure luck that a) he found them, b) they didn't get eaten alive during any of their mad escapes, c) there was a farm and a doctor nearby when Carl got shot, etc.  The only time I can remember Rick effectively accomplishing an improvement for his family was when he got everyone into the CDC (though that didn't pan out so well either).  Admittedly, this is not his fault, but he's not doing much to take care of the family *as a whole* on a spiritual/emotional level either.  His relationship with Carl may be the only one in the show that is not (yet) saturated in Emo Goo.  However, even that is not as good as it could be, since he and Lori are incapable of presenting a united parental front for Carl.

3. How does he react when something roadblocks that attainment?
This is where it all falls apart.  Obviously, things go wrong with Rick's plans all the time: he goes to Atlanta, but almost dies.  He goes to rescue Merle, but it's too late.  He gets everyone to the CDC, but it blows up.  He gets everyone on the road to Fort Bennett, but they lose a girl in the woods.  He goes to find her, but his son gets shot. Etc.  His goals to keep his family and the group safe are continually thwarted.  How does he handle that?  From what I can remember, he is either thrown into a momentary whirlpool of self-doubt and introspection, or he ignores/steamrolls all the dissenters who are doubting him themselves, telling them that "Yeah, this time it wasn't great, but we're a team and that's what matters, move out people." Or he glares frostily at Shane, or clenches his jaw at Hershel, and it's all very manly and heroic.

There is one point, right before Carl is wounded, when he goes into a church and prays for a sign.  He knows he's in trouble, and for the first time in his life, he turns to God for answers.  He goes back out into the woods, and he and Carl and Shane see a deer, which stands still as Carl approaches it, until they are nearly touching.  Rick is like "Holy cow, it's a sign!" and then Carl gets shot by a hunter aiming at the deer.

Insert classic pagan tantrum.  Narrow-eyed and self-righteous, Rick tells Hershel that he didn't get the sign he asked for, and that therefore it's best if "he and God stay out of each other's way."  Again, it's all very manly and jaw-clenchy.

The protagonist is trying to stay out of God's way, and thinks he can expect God to stay out of his.  But life doesn't work like that.  God doesn't work like that.  Trying to make a TV show that does work like that will inevitably result in a morality swamp, with no compass to guide people around the puddles.  The fact that this problem is universal in the entertainment world and can be found on some level in basically any show you watch does not make it less of a problem.  The Walking Dead just so happens to spell it out for us in great big letters; in fact, its only success is to correctly display the kind of moral confusion that follows a rejection of God.  If nothing else, The Walking Dead is consistent with its foundational premise.  Other shows are often more worth watching because they are *not* consistent with that premise - the characters often live as though there is a God and a resulting moral compass, despite the overall assumption to the contrary.


Cheers, y'all.  Next up is Doctor Who.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Walking Dead


Disclaimer

There are Certain People (whom I love dearly) who persuaded me to watch "The Walking Dead."  The deal was that Certain People, in return, would try "Doctor Who" on for size.  I am not fond of zombie-ridden material - in fact, as far as zombies are concerned I have all the fondness of a penguin for an equatorial jungle.  (What? I've been watching David Attenborough.) However, the lure of a) pleasing Certain People, b) creating another Whovian, and c) having a new TV show to watch overcame my reluctance.  This post is the resulting justification to Certain People for being unable to lurch past episode 6 of season 2. It is not a personal attack (a.k.a. "Whoever watches this abysmal show is clearly Sir Stupid from Stupidville"), but hopefully a (semi)rational consideration of what makes this show So Freaking Horrible.

From what I have heard, TV shows generally have two elements - the A plot, which is basically composed of the events that move the story along, and the B plot, in which all the emotional baggage of the characters gets hauled out, tangled up, and poked with a stick.  As far as I can tell, these correspond roughly to plot development and character development.  Here is the problem: The Walking Dead doesn't really have either.

Plot Development
or
Where are all the Zombies, Anyway?

I made it through twelve episodes total.  In the interest of time and, well, interest, I only plan to go through the first three in any sort of detail.

Episode One
Rick Grimes, hard-working police officer, is shot by Bad Guys and winds up in the hospital.  He wakes up alone and discovers that he missed the messy beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.  When he goes home to find his family, he instead finds a man and boy who fill him in on events.  They tell him his family probably headed for the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, which is allegedly working on a cure.  Rick duly takes off, discovers that Atlanta is overrun with zombies (a.k.a. "Walkers"), and hides in a military tank while zombie citizens eat his horse.

Meanwhile, his wife Lori, son Carl, and partner Shane have joined a group of survivors outside the city.  Lori is sleeping with Shane. Their justification: Rick is dead and the world is ending, so what the hell?

A plot: Will Rick Survive??
B plot: Lori and Shane? What?
Will Rick find his wife and kid?
Will random man and boy be able to leave zombie-mom?

I realize that this episode is merely intended to set the stage; however, the B plot is already set to take over the A plot, and by the end of episode one the series is already establishing itself as Soap Opera With Zombies Lurching Around Potholes of Emotional Goo.

Episode Two
Rick escapes from the tank with the help of Glenn, a survivor who came to the city for supplies.  With him are Merle (White Trash Racist), Andrea (Snarky Feminist), and T-Dog (Black Guy to Provide Tension With White Trash Racist), who become trapped inside a department store while zombies pound on the doors and lick the glass.  They head for the roof, where Rick and White Trash Racist have a showdown - Rick cuffs WTR to a pipe, chops up a zombie, smears himself and Glenn with zombieguts, which camouflages them enough to get them to a nearby truck, then drives back for the others.  Except WTR.  Because T-Dog lost the key to the cuffs and in all the Wild Running From Zombies Who Burst Through At The Last Second, he got left behind.

A Plot: Will Rick escape?
Will Rick's plan work?
B Plot: Will WTR succeed in wresting power from T-Dog, the elected leader of the outing?
Will Rick win the showdown with WTR?
What will happen when WTR's brother (back at survivorcamp) finds out they left WTR behind to be eaten by zombies?

Again, more camera time is given to B plot than to A, sure fire sign of Soapiness.  According to my (admittedly limited) knowledge, the ratio of A to B should be roughly 60/40, and here it is reversed.

Episode Three
The Escapees make it back to camp, where Rick is reunited with Carl and Lori, who tells Shane that their affair is over. Shane vents his anger by beating up Ed, one of the camp members, when he hears Ed verbally abusing his wife Carol as she chats with other women washing clothes in the lake.  Daryl, brother to Merle (a.k.a. WTR), find out that Merle was abandoned and has a tantrum.  Guilty, Rick decides to take a group back to Atlanta for a rescue mission, and has a fight with Lori, who doesn't want him to go.  When the rescuers make it back to the department store roof, they see that WTR has cut off his own hand with a nearby hacksaw in order to escape; he is nowhere to be found.  Daryl throws another tantrum.

A Plot: Will Rick and the group make it back in and out of Atlanta?
Where is Merle?
B Plot: Will Shane leave Lori alone?
Does Lori really want him to go, or is she just guilty?
Will Lori tell Rick about her and Shane?
Is Ed going to take revenge on Carol later for his beating?
Is Andrea, the resident loud-mouthed feminist, right in objecting to Women Washing Clothes?
Is Daryl going to kill somebody?
Is Shane going to kill somebody?

AHHHHH!!  ATTACK OF THE B PLOT!!!  Come on, people!  Even the A plot points use recycled tension, dragging us back through the same dangers/situations as the previous episode, but with added bickering, back-biting, and snark.  All the rest is Pure Undiluted Soap Opera.

Big Brushstrokes

The rest of the episodes I watched merely digressed from there.  Basically, the A points boil down to:

Midnight Zombie Attack
Campers Flee to Center for Disease Control
Disease Control Has No Cure and Blows Up
Campers Hit the Road for Fort Bennett
Herd of Zombies Nearly Finds Them
Little Girl Gets Lost in Woods
Everyone Tries to Find Her
Carl Gets Shot and Is Healed by Country Vet Hiding Out With Family In Woods
They Still Can't Find Little Girl

B points: OVERWHELMING EMOTIONAL CRAP

In the last five or six episodes I watched (basically the first third of season two), basically Nothing Happened.  The directors have stayed with the tension of "Crap We Still Can't Find the Little Girl" as a mainstay of the plot, throwing in a hunting accident and a country farm with zombies in the barn to keep you going.

Also, for a zombie show, season two has so far showed very few lurching villains.  Aside from strays that pop up here and there to make you jump, they appear to have been raptured.  This adds to my argument that THIS IS NOT REALLY A ZOMBIE SHOW.  THIS IS A SOAP OPERA WITH ZOMBIES IN IT SOMETIMES.

I am often okay with crappy plot development.  I know it's harder to do in a show than in a movie or a book. I have made it through shows like Pushing Daisies, which have equally little or less plot development, with few mental scars to speak of.  But here's why it doesn't work for The Walking Dead: I simply don't like any of the characters.  Any of them. At all. Not even a little.  I don't necessarily have anything against flawed protagonists, but for me to care whether they turn into Zombie Treats, they have to give me something worthwhile to root for. These people are universally scummy, and I honestly wish they had all died off several episodes ago.

Tune in next time for Character Development, or lack thereof.